Sunday, May 29, 2005
pay close attention to the lyrics of this song. i wanna make a love story thing :)
He was a boy, she was a girl
Can I make it anymore obvious?
He was a punk (hmm... not really... his genre is more of like, rap and r&b),she did ballet (a lot of girls do ballet so i guess she could be a ballerina)
What more can I say?
He wanted her, she'd never tell
secretly she wanted him as well.
But all of her friends stuck up their nose
they had a problem with his baggy clothes (okay, so baggy clothes seem too shallow... make it his attitude).
He was a skater boy (there aren't really a lot of skaters in this country so lets make him a baller.), she said see ya later boy
he wasn't good enough for her
She had a pretty face, but her head was up in space
she needed to come back down to earth.
five years from now, she sits at home
feeding the baby
she's all alone
she turns on tv
guess who she sees
skater boy rockin' up MTV.(disregard these lines. they're not part of the story.)
she calls up her friends, they already know
and they've all got tickets to see his show (hmm...lets make it like, his game na lang but remember! he's not really famous maybe he's like, the star player or somethng. okay? its high school. be realistic)
she tags along and stands in the crowd
looks up at the man that she turned down.
He was a skater boy, she said see ya later boy
he wasn't good enough for her
now he's a super star (he's not a super star)
slamin' on his guitar (he's not really a guitar player. he's a baller remember!)
does your pretty face see what he's worth?
sorry girl but you missed out
well tough luck that boys mine now (love triangles are so last season so lets erase the current girl for now)
we are more than just good friends
this is how the story ends
too bad that you couldn't see
see that man that boy could be
there is more that meets the eye
I see the soul that is inside
i'll erase the other verses cause they won't really help the story. :)
so okay, recap!
there's this baller guy with not exactly the best attitude who falls for this nice sensible ballerina girl. eventhough the ballerina girl also has the hots for the baller guy, she says no to him because of various reasons (one being his unbearable attitude. haha! kidding! it's not really unbearable. some people may just consider him mayabang). one day she realizes that maybe she was wrong to turn him down and regrets it a lot.
hah! a typical high school love story. well... i'm kinda bored and my brain isn't really functioning very well tonight but oh well... no one reads my blog anyway. oh yeah, yesterday was amazingly fun! ;)
other brother's back so i think the family trip's a go. hmm... i don't think i wanna go anymore. if i leave, i'll miss a lot of happenings. :)
when you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned?
8:15 PM Saturday, May 28, 2005
these are the last days of summer! live it up people! ;)
when you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned?
10:00 PM Friday, May 27, 2005 hmm... nothing to write about today, it was kinda a boring day. i have family obligations again tomorrow. i have to go somewhere near bengay lady's place for a swimming thing of some relative. i don't wanna swim though. the water there might be dirty or something. yikes... i'm bad. i don't even trust my relative. :( i have to go cause my dad wants me to. i bet i'd just be staying in the sidelines eating, listening to the ipod and i'd most probably taking pictures and stuff again. my mom was telling me about her officemate's kid again. she said ****** (she studies in mc so i can't really mention her name ;p) came back from her trip daw sa US. my mom was like, "her mom bought her an ipod nga eh. i didn't know what there was a really really small one pala. yung mapayat". my sister and i seemed kinda bitchy cause we were like, "ipod shuffle?... lang? " i thought about it. the ipod shuffle doesn't even have the touch thing so it would just really seem like an ordinary mp3 player. but still its an ipod right? good for her! :) plus, she probably bought lots of other stuff. like clothes and gadgets. wow... i wanna shop in limited too and buy the xbox 360. i used to love the xbox but now i love the xbox 360. i want one! frapdate:
Cut my life into pieces
I've reached my last resort, suffocation, no breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arms bleeding
Do you even care if I die bleeding
Would it be wrong, would it be right
If I took my life tonight, chances are that I might
Mutilation out of sight and I'm contemplating suicide
Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Nothing's alright, nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying
I never realized I was spread too thin
Till it was too late and I was empty within
Hungry, feeding on chaos and living in sin
Downward spiral, where do I begin
No love for myself and no love for another
Searching to find a love upon a higher level
Finding nothing but questions and devils
Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Nothing's alright, nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying
I can't go on living this way
yay! my sister bought me vanilla frap yesterday. i didn't really think that she would cause she said that she was broke and stuff.
when you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned?
12:00 AM Thursday, May 26, 2005 i changed the layout. it was a very boring night so i had lots and lots of free time. :) my stupid chatterbox was so frustrating. something went wrong with it so i tried to fix it and stuff but i think i made it uglier so i just decided to get another tagboard. one thats not as ugly as my chatterbox. i was blog hopping again and i saw maureen's tagboard. it looked pretty decent so i got one. yay! new tagboard! tag your hearts out people! ;)
anyway... brother dear and i discovered how to make those mini pizza thingies. its our new midnight snack thing. i can feed myself now. we've been eating those for like, 5 consecutive days now i think. it's our new bonding thing. oh! and every night i'm required to watch qpids (qpid or qpids?) the new abs-cbn show 'cause my brother's friend is there and he said we have to vote for him daw or else he'll get booted out. he's kinda weird though. i'm not really sure why i'm willing to waste my load on him. he was picked by the paw girl. my brother and i were kinda shocked 'cause i dunno.... its like he doesn't have the "likability factor". haha! now i'm quoting simon cowell.
oh! before i forget. hey bengay lady, if anyone finds out about what i told you a while ago, i'll hunt you down and kill you! haha! kidding! ;)
ooh! look! i got a picture of us (you, me and monica) in bea's (bea, i'm stealing pictures from you) photobucket!
why do i look like a drugee there?
frapdate:
my parents are still funding my vanilla frap addiction. yay! i'm really happy now! sometimes, they even throw in a free doughnut. :)
when you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned?
1:00 AM Tuesday, May 24, 2005 okay... sorry if my last entry made people feel bad. i wrote that when i was kind of pissed or sad or something. it could've been about anyone. just because i said i've known the person for 2 school years, doesn't mean its about you. it doesn't even automatically mean that the person's from mc. i said 2 school years cause i met the person when the school year started. i'm sorry if i offended anyone. it wasn't really my intention. but, since we're already in the subject... why would you guys ever think that it was for you? you guys don't tell me anything either 'no! hmm... i really believe that there's something wrong with me. i love my dad oh so much. he was already supposed to go to his place after going to the wake thing in bulacan but i kept on bugging him to buy me vanilla frap. so like, he left the wake at around 11:30 or something. then he passed by katipunan to buy from starbucks. then he had to drive all the way to marikina to bring it to me. then he finally went home to his empty pad in antipolo. :( i miss my dad. he used to buy me stuff when i have a craving for it. he always bought me doughnuts when i was so obsessed with them. he used to buy me cookies when i had a cookie fetish. he used to buy pandesal from pugon cause i kinda like 'em. Now, he's funding my vanilla frap fixation. :)
gotta love that ipod
when you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned?
7:50 PM Sunday, May 22, 2005
Breathe, trust, bless me and release,
Climb, hard or never be seen.
Closed off, rescue to breathe.
Just bless me.
Two sided time,
Your rebirth can't hurt,
Branch out behind, the pain.
Closure has come to me myself,
You will never belong to me.
Closure has come to me myself,
You will never belong to me.
Had to turn, lay down,
Your sting of disease.
Phase you out, should've seen this coming.
Go on confusing the soul,
Hold my breath 'til you rupture.
Three days aside,
Your rebirth can't hurt,
Branch out behind, pride.
Closure has come to me myself,
You will never belong to me.
Closure has come to me myself,
You will never belong to me.
Like a leach,
I hold on as if we belonged,
To some precious pure dream.
Cast off, you've seen what's beneath,
Now fail me.
Forget closure,
Forget closure,
Forget closure,
Forget closure.
Closure has come to me myself,
You will never belong to me.
Closure has come to me myself,
You will never belong to me.
So breathe.
when you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned?
10:37 PM What if you've been in love with someone for the longest time but always ended up in vain. Then suddenly tables are turned and that love is now yours for the taking. What would you do? Would you stay or let me go? Let me go... I know that you've wanted her for so long. She wants you now. Maybe she's right. Perhaps you were really meant for her. Maybe this is whats supposed to happen. Maybe she just needed to get hurt so badly for her to realize that she really does want you. Maybe he needed to put her in so much pain for her to know that you really care about her a lot. Its funny 'cause I never realized that I was with such a hottie. I don't think I want to compete... Specially with girls that are so catty. If you want her then be with her. No one's stopping you. I'll be happy for you no matter what. :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When I'm feeling like there's no love coming to me... For a friend...
And I have no love to give...
When I'm feeling separated from the world...
And cut off from myself...
When I'm feeling annoyed by every little thing...
Because I'm not getting what I want...
I'll remember that there is an infinite amount of love available to me.
And I'll see it in you.
I'll remember that I am complete within myself...
So I'll never have to look to you to complete me.
And most of all, I'll remember that everything I really need I already have, and whatever I don't have will come to me when I'm ready to receive it.
i guess we aren't as tight as i thought. i know you have the right to not tell me whatever's going on in your life but, i dunno... i guess it just sucks 'cause i tell you everything. i never held back information and you never tell me anything. i guess i can't blame you. it's your life. you have your free will. its like, when i find out something new about you, it never really comes from you. i'd have to read it somewhere or answer someone's pop quiz. it sucks cause i talk to you all the time and, you can't even tell me if something's bothering you. i know, you trust very few people in this world because yeah, there is a mask one everyone's face. hmm... maybe i'm not to be trusted. maybe it's because it seems like i don't take anything seriously. I still stand by my word. I still love you and I believe that nothing would ever change that but, you can't expect me to be as open as I was with you before. After all, how could I trust someone who doesn't even trust me.Its like, everything I've done or tried to do always goes unnoticed. Maybe we've grown out of each other. Its amazing though... we've only known each other for 2 school years. I never thought that you could grow out of someone that fast.
when you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned?
9:53 PM Thursday, May 19, 2005
Say it's true, there's nothing like me and you,
I'm not alone, tell me you feel it too,
And I would runaway,
I would runaway, yeah, yeah,
I would runaway,
I would runaway with you,
Cause I have fallen in love,
With you, no never have,
I'm never gonna stop fallin' in love, with you,
Close the door, lay down upon the floor,
And by candlelight, candlelight make love to me through the night,
through the night, through the night,
'Cause I have runaway,
I have runaway, yeah, yeah,
I have runaway, runaway,
I have runaway with you,
'Cause I have fallen in love, fallen in love,
With you, no never oh, oh,
I'm never gonna stop fallin' in love, with you, With you,
And I would runaway,
I would runaway, yeah, yeah,
I would runaway, runaway,
I would runaway hey with you,
Cause I have, have fallen in love, fallen in love,
With you, no never oh, oh,
I'm never gonna stop fallin' in love, with you,
Fallen in love fallen in love
With you, no never have
I'm never gonna stop fallin' in love, with you
With you, my love,
With you, with you, with you, with you
"I have a problem. I'm seriously thinkin about running away with this guy. I'm so confused. :("
that message was sent at exactly 4:15 pm of may 18, 2005. i didn't realize the gravity of that message. i sent it to 3 close friends and a person i had just been introduced to a few weeks ago. i'm not exactly sure what my intentions were in sending that message. i guess i just wanted to know what their reactions would be.
the first person to reply was my 6th grade buddy. her first reply was "cno?bkt naman!?hello!ano ba ung rison!!?pag ginagago mo lang ako papatayn kita". i replied saying "I don't know.. i just need to escape fr d real world and he seems like a nice guy. I gues wat i'm trying 2 say is i'd rather b anywher but home right now.. " she replied several times. i guess she was really trying hard to convince me not to go through with it. i love her so much because when i text her stuff like that, she always smacks some sense into me and she's always there when i need counseling. she told me not to runaway cause i'll just end up hurting my parents and regretting everything.
the second person who replied was my grade 7 and second year classmate. at first, i think she didn't believe me since she said "i'm sorRy??what did u do to my lesbian budDy?". i tried to assure her that i really needed her help but i think she was still thinking twice if it was for real or not cause she said "exqueeze me?! karen tividad only runs AWAY from guys not with them silly!". putting my frustrated script writing skills to bad use, i finally said "I don't know if its d summer heat, my sudden addiction 2 telenovelas or my non existent social life but i'm finding myself in this situation. Wat do u do if u feel more secure in d company of strangers to a pt where ur willing to run away & let go of ur so-so life?" she replies "hmm.. pe0ple in the m0vies just snap bAck to reality before they jump off a c0mputer generated clifF!give it a try.. but when people run away they usually end up either at h0me or in a crack house.. im starting to worRy bout you. . .". she's the hardest person to reply to because she really makes you think and she asks deep questions. i thought of what to reply for a long time. my next reply was "People in the movies r jst actin the part but its different if ur livin the role. There r no take 2s, no rewritin of endings. U hve to make do with the cards ur delt with. Wat wud u do if ur lyf unfolds b4 u and reveals itself as a tragedy?" she took a while to reply but her reply was worth the wait. she said "in reality? I can't run away. n0 resources. . but id go as far as possible til i figure my tragic, crapPy life out. . but thats just ME. the thngs we fear the most have already hapPnd to us. . dsnt really matter WHERE we go. what matters is where we end up eventually. . ". its amazing actually... she says all the right things. i could've just ended it there and already told her the truth but, i didn't. i said "Wat matters to me is who i end up with eventually.. I don't know what to do.. Hope u guys were just here to make me better :(". at this point, i was already feeling kind of guilty. she's the best. she told me everything i really needed to hear. she remained as nice, sweet and calm the whole time.
the third person never really believe it i think. even after i tried to guarantee her that it was in fact for real.
the fourth person's reply had the biggest impact. i didn't really expect him to care much since, we weren't really that tight and we didn't really know each other that much. his reply was hours delayed and since he knew that i was very playful, he asked several times if i was just kidding him. he said "PSSST!HOY KULIT N GUMAGANDA! U THE 1 WHO TXTD ME KANINA, UMAMIN KA?:)". i decided not to reply anymore but again he texted saying "OKAY, THE THNG IS. S THS KAREN?I DO GET UR PT. DUDE, STILL NOT SURE F UR PULLIN MY LEG. WALA K YTA MAGAWA EH?". since i wasn't in the mood anymore i just plainly said "Forget it.. Nevermind. Just don't tell my sister". i was already feeling really really guilty cause he wouldn't stop texting and i know that for him, having load is a very valuable thing. he replied again saying "UY SORY. HOW WUD I KNW F M REALY TALKNG 2 U. EH ANG KULIT NYO MGKAPATID." i really didn't want to reply anymore but the person sent several more messages including one that said "F I FOUND OUT U GUYS JST PULLIN MY LEG, HASSLE SOBRA. SO, OK SERIOUS ABT KANINA?". i was gonna tell him the truth already but, i couldn't do it. my final reply was "It's not a sick joke. Why do you keep on asking? I'm sorry i got u involved. I just thought u were the 1 person who could give me sound advice. I'll just work this out on my own. Thanks anyway and sorry again."
11:54 pm, i texted all except 1 the same message which was "I'm sorry. My calendar was way off. I thought it was april 1 today. My bad! I apologize again and thanks for the advice. Seriously.. No shittin u. Thanks for ur smashing advice. I really appreciate it."
i'm very grateful to have friends such like the people mentioned above. i love my friends so much! i apologize for interrupting your day. :)
when you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned?
1:00 AM Monday, May 16, 2005
don't mind the song.. just read the lyrics. :)
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
I know that you are something special
To you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
Your beautiful soul, yeah
You might need time to think it over
But im just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind
If you give me the chance
I will never make you cry c`mon lets try
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
Am I crazy for wanting you
Baby do you think you could want me too
I don't wanna waste your time
Do you see things the way I do
I just wanna know if you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You beautiful soul, yeah
okay, so i don't really like that song but i was watching myx the other day and they showed the video and stuff. i saw the lyrics and i realized why my classmate liked it so much. people don't like the song because of the low budget video, the not so catchy tune or the decent looking singer (i guess). they like it because the song is kinda feeding the hunger for affirmation of girls everywhere. hahaha! or at least thats my theory... ;p
ooh! i love this one! its from bridget jones! girls wanna be charmed. at some point or another, they even wanna be chased.
Mark: I like you.
Bridget: Oh, sure, if it weren't for the smoking, and the verbal diarrhea....
Mark: No, I like you. Just as you are.
when you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned?
11:30 AM Friday, May 13, 2005
i'm royally pissed! as in super duper pissed. my life's kinda crappy right now.
scratch that... diane's so fun!i'm not pissed anymore... she made me happy!
yikes... such a fat kid!
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it's still under construction :)
[x] blog
[x]blog2
[x]multiply
[x]multiply2
[x]quiz your friends
random stuff...
[x]coke is my water
[x]vanilla frap is my poison
[x]chocolates are my addiction
[x]the digicam is my companion
[x]the IPod is my bestfriend
[x]my friends and family are my life
[x]a cinderella story is my guilty-pleasure
[x]brooding is my specialty
[x]numbers are my weakness
[x]fix you is my absolute favorite
[x]everything you want is my story
[x]if only is my song