Thursday, March 30, 2006
i have a new multiply. you have to add it. its kawawa... i only have 3 friends i think...
http://princesssparkles27.multiply.com
yipee. frosbite was nice. :) people actually went. how amazing was that? :)) seriously though... thanks to everyone who went and supported our little party. i know it wasn't exactly the best party ever but... you guys bought tickets and followed the dress code and some of you stayed and stuff... your presence was greatly appreciated. :) i'll update this later... too tamad to write
when you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned?
7:19 AM Monday, March 20, 2006
weh... sinong masyadong tamad para magproof-read? AKO! yipee! :)
shall i start the prom countdown? haha! naaaaaaah! crap. i miss everybody. i miss bam, boogs, ella and hmm... fine i miss lil jologitang al. :)) craaaap. geeky as it may seem, i actually miss wearing my uniform, waking up early, worrying about the things i forgot to do and i dunno... deciding whether to go down and buy food or not. i miss staying in school up to 5 just to bum around with my friends. i miss going around classrooms and seeing everyone. i miss monnie... i miss danica... and eventhough i see her a lot, i miss maurmaur too. bea the gullible... aww... i wanna see her na.
why can't love be enough? :))
my brother's phone was stolen and ccrap. my parents don't wanna buy him a new one so he got my old cellphone fixed. i read my messages in that phone and i swear to god... i almost died. :)) some were sweet and some were just hilarious. how pathetic of me. :))
wahahaha... la lang
it sucks when you really want something you can't have. sometimes, you try so hard to make something work but despite all that, its still doesn't work out. its like, you love someone and that certain someone loves you too but its like love isn't enough. why god... why? LOVE SHOULD BE ENOUGH, DAMN IT... i'm starting to think that love is like, some lost cause... that love isn't worth fighting for anymore. its like everyone i know who has ever fallen in love just ended up at hahahaheartache hotel.
i've always been into fairytales because i'd love to believe that somewhere out there, everyone has a soulmate. everyone has their princesses and prince charmings. i'd love to believe that no matter what happens love can surpass everything... no evil witches, evil sisters or evil stepmothers can stand in the way of love because love is above it all. one day i just woke up from a really really bad nightmare to realize that life is not a fairytale. my so-called prince might just be a big bad wolf pretending to be a prince. wahahaha! how stupid.
maybe love is really above everything... maybe thats why true and everlasting love can never be attained. or maybe we're all just meant to be alone.. i mean, we were born alone... its only natural that we die alone too. huwaw. labo.
i have a theory! love is just some money making myth. hoemayghad. i'll stop now. this is stupid. make my fairytale come true :))
when you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned?
9:55 AM Saturday, March 18, 2006 SUNDAY went to gateway. shopped for a bag and accessories. i can't believe i'm actually ready for the prom
love, why don't you love me?
lahdidah... i'm bored. :)) whatta summer.
THURSDAY
i woke up bright and early last thursday cos people kept on texting me. i left the house 10 minutes before 12. it was kinda traffic. when i got to mcdo, i realized that i forgot the stupid little tickets. after being pissed for like, 5 minutes, we started spying on this disgusting couple who were eating each others face off. when juts and glenys came for the party planning thing, we had to change tables. we hung out and planned and stuff for a few hours. then when they left, we "hailed" a cab na to go to diane's house. there we just ate, chatted with some people, attempted to play dance rev and cam whored. lovely right? 'twas amazingly fun. :))
i dunno what time we left diane's house... basta. we went to katipunan again to meet cams and rash at mcdo. i saw bam and boogs. wow. i miss those PGs... from there, we went to vaINsanity. the party was ayt. it was really fun. gay people rock. i swear they do. :)
FRIDAY
my friday sucked. i just went to school, saw a bunch of people then went home. wow. what a very exciting day.
SATURDAY
i had a watergun fight with my brother. thats the highlight of the day. oh yeah... i went to galle to buy shoes for the prom... i saw fritz there.
when you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned?
5:27 PM Tuesday, March 14, 2006
THIS WAS MADE YESTERDAY
first person, third person, who cares? this entry was not at all proof-read. i don't plan to read it again to check for grammatical errors cos its 10 already and i haven't even attempted to study.
no matter what we do, there are always things that are beyond us. the fate of a blossoming relationship, the cure for cancer, falling in and out of love, death, a friend or a family memeber moving to another place, jealousy, stupidity and all that crap... i was watching season 4 of scrubs on dvd (yeah sissy pissy pants, i finished 'em) there was this really incredible line there... "yes, change is scary but its also inevitable..."
inevitable... i love that word. expect more scrubs lines in this blog. its a brilliant show... its like, the best show you're not watching. i bet if you just took the time to even just watch an episode, you'd totally get hooked.
anyway... on to more important things...
so i'm feeling a bit guilty cos of the fact that i've been incredibly selfish the past few months. i've been cruel to almost every being that walked the face of the planet. i was mean, condescending and lets face it, i've been a huge snob. so much so that i've criticized everything starting from someone's exterior to every single fiber of their being. i've been aggravated by people (identities remain secret) so many times that i swear, i've said all the inhumane things that i could think of. i fought battles which honest to god were not worth fighting for. i've participated in things that are mind-numbingly idiotic. i feel like everything i'm doing and all i'm amounting to be is just another lost cause. how pathetic is that?
what's worse is that i keep on obsessing about myself while my sister's is battling it out in the land of free and the home of the braves. i can only imagine how hard it must be to be in a place thats like, so far from your family and friends. the weirdest thing happened though... my sister, the greatest person ever, bought a new sim card. she sent a text to mommy dearest. she told her about where she was staying and stuff... important yet boring things. amidst all the new and exciting things that she was experiencing, my sister still thought about me and my well-being.
she was worried about my prom. since i am generally stupid about those things, she's asking everyone to help me pick out shoes, arrange my hair & make-up thing, ensure that the prom gown is at least decent-looking and stuff. she contacted her kikay friends, my cousin (i think), my mother and the most unlikely of people who'd ever want to help me, my brotha from the same motha (+ his uber nice girlfriend).
aww... crap. i miss her. :( despite the fact that she did not even reply to one tag i made on her stupid little unupdated blog, i still love her. YES WORLD! I AM CAPABLE OF LOVING! :)
i feel guilty about not uploading her pictures when she asked me to(they will come sister, just be patient), going offline cos laguna beach was on, not fixing her layout, kicking all her stuff out of her room so we can do some room switching (her room's bigger than mine so i decided for both of us to swap), still not getting her dog tag from the paj, being mean to her snotty little friend, hanging up on her when she called (i totally didn't know that was her. i thought it was one of those stupid people who call and just put down the phone), not saying all the mushy pathetic little things you expected me to say when we were at the airport, sleeping in the car instead of talking to you and a lot of other things.
here's the clincher of the story little kiddies...
you never really know what you've got when its gone. when my sister was still here, i blew her off a lot. whenever she tried to pencil me in her busy little sched, i basically just flaked on her. i was never thankful about anything she's ever done for me. from helping me deceive my dad into thinking that i was sleeping at home when i was really at the ahs soph night to shipping me off to a far far away place named pagudpud when i was being psychologically and emotionally unstable to funding my little frap obsession to getting my dad to buy me new things to buying me an uber cool phone to convincing my dad to bring me place to teaching me a lot of cool new things to training me to stop being such a princess to teaching me the real meaning of being a friend to uhh... okay... i guess you kinda get the whole thing already... i'll stop it with the "to's"
FROM SISSY PISSY PANT'S BLOG:
5 am (manila time)
ok, i just came from my lola's house. i couldn't stay long. first, because i don't have that much time. second, because i couldn't forgive myself for the realizations that came to me from that visit. i've been bad and now i'm really sad... i promised myself that i would stay with my lola after my leave becomes effective because who knows when i'll be seeing her again after i fly but i got caught up with something else and this was the only time i saw her since her birthday. the people i've been with my last days know that there are only 2 people who, if they tell me not to leave, i won't. those 2 people would be my lola and my sister. ok, fine, maybe 3 and the 3rd person's name is withheld... but they didn't because they knew that this was what i wanted and i loved them more for that. as i was saying goodbye to her, the words that continue to echo in my mind even up to now were "don't forget me"... the second she said that i was like, how can i forget u when u are one of the very few people i live for... and then the thought of what i just did dawned on me. i was still in the philippines and yet when i worked in makati, how many times did i actually visit her? and to think her house was on the way whenever i bring a car. and when i knew i was leaving, i couldn't even find the time... even an hour... to spend with her... how can she not think that i'd forget her?
5:30 am (manila time)
no mushy farewells, no crying even. wow... my family must really think i'm coming back after a month. but that's good. i'm too tired and sleep to cry anyway. i'll probably cry my brains out in the airport when everything that is happening right now will sink in. but then again maybe they think it's a good riddance that i'm leaving... hmmm... as my dad's car drove away, the feeling of being all by myself is slowly creeping in
biggest regret:
i should've stopped her when i had the chance. i told you not to go. i did. i swear i did... maybe i was laughing when i said it but that still counts right? i bet you weren't listening to me again. miss you... wanna kiss you. haha! i guess everything worked out for the best somehow... right sissy pissy? i mean, you're happy there. when you're happy, i'm happy.
okay... maybe not... i miss you.
i'm supposed to be studying for my social exam right now but everything i read about just reminds me of you. like the time when you told me that you memorized your whole social book cos your teacher wanted to challenge you and she thought you were just some mediocre brained student... god... i can't imagine myself doing what you did. i can't even memorize basic information. you memorized the paragraph number, the page number and i bet you could even recite the book word per word. i may constantly tell you that i hate your stinking guts and that you're really arrogant but i swear, if i had even just half the brain capacity you have, i wouldn't need to study. i'd just kick it sissy pissy pants style. no studying required right? god, while my chem grade is going downhill, you were getting high grades and pleasing your teachers and crap? i couldn't even get all the answers on the test right.. let alone the stupid little bonus questions. why am i glorifying you all of a sudden? wow sissy pissy pants... i never thought this day would come.. :)) seriously... i have to study now.
ciao bella
when you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned?
2:29 AM Friday, March 10, 2006
Holla Holla Holla
Holla Holla Holla
Maybe, it's me, maybe I bore you
But no no, it's my fault,'cause I can't afford you
Maybe baby, Puffy,Jay-z
would all be better for you
'Cause all I can do is love you
Baby when I used to love you
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
I went through the fire for you, anything you asked me to
But I tired of livin this lie
It's getting harder to justify
Realized that I just don't love you
Not like I used to
Holla Holla Holla
Holla Holla Holla
Maybe, I should rob somebody
So we could, live like Whitney and Bobby
It's probably my fault, my bad, my loss
But you are, above cost
'Cause all I could do was love you
Baby when I used to love you, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
I went through the fire for you, anything you asked me to
But i'm tired of living this lie
It's getting harder to justify
Realized that I just don't love you
Not like I used to
Holla Holla Holla
Holla Holla Holla
Do you remember when I used to love you
Baby no not any more,(I don't)love you
Ooohhhh, I love you
And you're gonna miss me now(Yeaaaah)
Baby when I used to love you
There's nothing that I wouldn't do,
I went through the fire for you, and i'm not gonna play the fool
No I can't live this lie, and I can't justify, and I can't make you my wife
'cause I don't love you
Not like I used to do
Holla Holla Holla
(Not like i used to)
Holla Holla Holla
(Not like i used to)
Oh I used to love you(Used to love u)
Oh but I don't love you(No not any more)
Oh I used to love you(Used to love u)
Oh but I don't love you(I bet you miss me now)
Oh I used to love you(You're gonna miss me now)
Oh but I don't love you(I bet you miss me now)
what ever happened to standing up for love? yes, there are times when you really hvve to get over things and move on but, how could you if you've never even tried making it work? (or maybe you have... get back to me on that)if you've never even tried to fight for the one you love? you know what's worse than unrequited love? uhh... let me think... actually having the affections of the one you love and being too chickenshit and to let it go just like that. in life, we are given little chances to make things right. take a chance for once. it doesn't have to end here. the ball is in your court... you better make your move cos it won't be there forever
when you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned?
8:46 AM chapel angels :)) the laws of writing do not apply here. ciao bella! :)
blurry much?
3-9... can it get any better?
diana, this one's for you... stop bugging me to update. :))
woah... i defended yesterday... it wasn't really as bad as i thought it would be. i was kinda sleepy cos it was so freakin early. i tried entertaining myself. i kept on laughing the whole time. the prom is in 2 weeks. i don't really feel like going anymore. i can't back out not cos my dad spent a lot of money for it na. the whole 2 weeks thing sunk in lang when i was handed the prom invitation thing. the invitation thing isn't really great... it looks simple. well... at least we have one na. i'm getting my prom dress next week. CHAMPAGNE SUPERNOVA :)) nice. brilliant. i changed my layout to the surfer thing again. tapos na valentines eh. i'm too tamad to make a new layout. the concept of destiny's funny. i just realized that while talking to maureen yesterday. today was fun. lots of pictures were taken. i think i'm infected with the vanity bug. i'm actually supposed to be studying right now. i'm not in the mood though. i'll study later. i'm hungry.
