Neil Gaiman
Alexander Pope
Friday, August 12, 2005
i'm allowed to have an uber dramatic entry every month... if you don't wanna read it, then don't. who cares bizatch. :D it wasn't made for you anyway! :p
i don't get how life suddenly became so complicated. i want to go back to the days when all i had to worry about was school.
i miss the hungarian dance days. i miss the times when we were forced to sit next to each other. i guess those days are gone now. we can't stay in the past. even if i've tried to ignore this, i know that the truth'll still remain. our extreme closeness ended when first year ended. don't get me wrong...we're still friends the only difference is that we've moved on to better things (well.. you did at least) and other people. its like we lead separate lives which are just somehow connected through one thing...
during our first year days, we may have been inseparable but right now, it just doesn't seem like that anymore. its like even if we are together, we're still with different people. we could have conversations every day but it'll just be about random and pointless things. you were my escape from everything. a conversation with you would make every bad thing go away. now... it just doesn't seem enough... maybe we've grown apart. maybe we've just been busy. do you get it? its like our friendship could be deep but it'll never scratch the surface.
i haven't been ignoring you... its just that these past few days, i don't exactly feet like saying much to you. i'm sorry if that doesn't seem like an appropriate reason. what i don't get is why the whole thing got blown out of proportion... its not like its a new thing. in the past, we've gone for weeks without talking and it was never an issue. usually, i'd be the first to say that i was mean in a particular situation but in this specific one, i regret to say that i don't feel like i was at all cruel. i don't get why you expect me to pour my heart out to you when you don't tell me anything either.
i swear to god, i didn't write this entry to upset you or anything but if you are in any way mad or offended, i'm apologizing to you now... :)