Neil Gaiman
Alexander Pope
Thursday, January 05, 2006
you try so hard to make something work but it never does. i guess this is really a sign that things aren't exactly working out... i mean, we can't even talk about stuff anymore. everything's such a huge secret. we can't even tell each other shallow stuff anymore. maybe its cos you have your new people and i have mine... its seriously frustrating... it's like everytime we talk, we never really say anything to each other. most of the time, i don't even get you anymore... i don't know if you're doing something wrong or if its like, i just choose not to understand you. it's like we're totally different. what used to be the stuff that held us together are tearing us apart. that kinda sucks cos of all the peple i've ever met in my entire life, you're one of the people who i thought was gonna rough it out with me... we tried but i guess even our best efforts aren't enough. maybe its just really not meant to be... i honestly don't know why i'm bitching about stuff... it doesn't matter anyway... i guess stuff just need a little getting used to. i learned something... knowing that things change doesn't make you smart... accepting the fact that things would never go back to normal does...
i was talking to rae the other day... god i miss her! what i love about rae is that no matter what, our friendship didn't change or anything...we're millions of miles apart but everytime i talk to her, its like she never left. we never grew apart or anything... it's like, we're still in the 6th grade. sure, we don't exactly speak that much anymore cos of the time difference plus its like, totally expensive and stuff but, everytime we get the chance to talk, we go all out. we have no secrets... when we feel like we're totally gonna bomb some test, exam or like, one whole quarter, we tell each other... we've been so used to each other that we don't even care if we sound yucky or if we did something completely shameful. i really do love her for really making an effort so we could talk. we're both usually broke and stuff but whenever we have money to spare, we call each other and crap like she was still living in cainta. she totally understands everything i'm going through and she never judges me or anything. she's always there to listen to me rant and rave about stuff... she never leaves me hangin'. i miss rae!!! i want her to come back!
resolution:
find something or someone worth fighting for... :)
my sister's leaving for the U.S. in few days. after high school, she might adopt me or something... the master plan is that she'd go and work there and stuff. i don't want her to go but it's not like i can do anything to stop her. if everythingpushes through, it'll be byebye philippines for me in like, 2 years or something...
SHOUT OUT! :)
babe, i know you're hurting and i know that i can't do anything to take away the pain but if you need someone to talk to, i'm always here. that'll never change. don't worry... it'll get better... stop crying... you're too beautiful to hide behind that stupidass piece of cloth. :)